Part I: (The Wealth Machine)
She asked me: “Are you afraid to die?”
She was my Life.
It’s almost like I met her on the execution stand. If not, I met her as I awaited an execution. I have been standing in for her there ever since. Many execution tools are hidden all over the world. But she was a weapon of mass destruction.
As I began to know her, I began to notice the traps everywhere. If you don’t figure them out, you’re dead. She looked just like me. I was just like her. She used to be so sweet. She said, “When you grow old, you can have anything you like. Everything will be yours”. She tried to persuade me, “Let’s play a game. Here is a wealth machine. It gives a lot of money. You just need to enter it, study and try your luck. It would be great fun. Every big man does that”. I agreed to her and entered the machine. There was a key hole from which I could look outside. I could see her, My Life. And then, suddenly the world started changing her.
I was locked inside the machine. I was forced to see it when they were making changes to her. I felt like instead of her, I was being changed. Yes I was changing. Every time I closed my eyes, I could hear that sound. I wonder what that creaking sound is. They (Teachers) used to make great speeches of motivation. They can’t spoil my life. They can’t ruin it.
The only difference between my life and me is that the life seems to enjoy the pain. The expressions on her face slowly became mine. It was a Trap. And then as I graduated I was introduced to my new life (Job). It was now her turn to look at me from the key hole inside the machine. When I came out after graduation, I became my life. I became Saurabh Garg. My life watched me as I made money, Name, Girl Friend, Contacts. I was her and she was me. That’s how I started to feel. The outside world gave me everything I desired for but they took away my innocence, my virtue. The boy who used to play with Tadpoles stuck in the rain water was gone. The boy who once idealized Gandhi and Subhash was now in the business of getting Fat salary and living for his Company (Job). I turned around my life and kept on gathering materialistic wealth. I finally started to enjoy this, which I have always hated from inside. Since my childhood I wanted to be as pure as a new born. But I was intoxicated and matured, that’s because I have become Saurabh Garg, an Analyst Programmer.
Part II: (The Realization)
They jeweled me with Money, Designation, responsibilities and asked me to face my life.
They said, “Look. How mature you look now. Go and ask your life how she likes it”.
It’s almost like she met me on the execution stand, anyway. If not, she met me as she awaited an execution. She have been standing in for me there ever since. Many execution tools are hidden all over the world. As she began to know me, she began to notice the traps everywhere. If she doesn't figure them out, she will be dead.
When she looked at me she started shouting, “You were not like this. You were mine. What do you think you are doing? Who do you think you are? Take that mask of maturity and Intelligence off. Stop fucking with me.”
My life began to question me whenever I was alone. It wanted my innocence back. It was hurting. I also didn't wish to run away from her. Every time I was alone, my life tried to kill my maturity. She was jealous of me; me as a Lost Young Man.
Part III: (Joining IMI)
It was on that day. I always want to relive what happened on that day. Her new face looked like it was mine. I was liberated. It was me, a 12 year old. I became my own self again. The life inside me was me, a Learner, a Student. I again became innocent, pure and lively. Just like how a student should be. And I killed my maturity. With my school backpack on, I took the same route to education as I have always done. It was something eternal.
But soon, I hear that sound again. I see a Golden beautiful chair which looks very lucrative. I am walking towards it, with JPCs holding my hand. I ask them, “What is it?”
They reply, “The Execution Stand.”
Everything ends at the door of same wealth machine.
I wonder: Now, which one is the Dream. What is real and what is not?
